Tom's Blog

Well I start back to full-time next week.  Yay!  So this is my last long weekend for awhile and I’ll probably spend most of it doing some cleaning around the house.  Nothing to major, just vacuuming, dusting, mopping and I’ll change the bedding in the snake’s habitat this weekend.  If everything goes according to plan next week, Jeffrey will be here by the end of the week and after he’s recovered from driving out from LA he can start helping.

It’s going to be tough getting up Monday and going to work and then spending an entire 8 hours there.    I’ve been spoiled this summer.  I am not complaining though and I really do like my work.

Started reading a book called “Outing Yourself” by Michelangelo Signorile.  Was curious if I was coming out the closet the right way.  Jeffrey laughed when I told him that and said I was hilarious.  The book sets out 14 steps for coming out.  Interestingly I followed the first few steps I’ve read about pretty closely without knowing what I was doing.

Of course step 1 is coming out to yourself and part of that is getting rid of your self-hatred.  It’s pretty much impossible to grow up gay without developing some self-hate.  Everywhere it’s indoctrinated into everyone that being gay is a bad thing and it’s only recently that there have been positive messages to counter that.  Anyway as I was reading that I really thought about self-hate more generally.  Gays aren’t the only ones that are taught to hate themselves.

Through advertising people are taught to hate themselves because of body image, to fat, to thin, to black, to white.  Hair in the wrong places, teeth not white enough and so on.  Really it’s a wonder that anyone can grow up and like themselves.  Even socially we teach hate, your religion is the wrong one, your ethnicity is the wrong one, your political party is the wrong one.  Just watch the news and you’ll see that just about every piece of bad news reported is about hate at some level.  Hate is a destructive force and self-hate is even more destructive.  I don’t believe you can really love someone else unless you can love yourself first.

The first steps in the book deal with coming out to yourself and beginning the process of ridding yourself of self-hate so you can move on.  After thinking about that, I suspect we should all look in a mirror and try to root out some of the self-hate so we can be more loving to those around us.

I’m not talking about a backlash against GLBTQ community here, but a backlash of the GLBTQ community against a society that is refusing to grant them their rights.  A lot of people’s hopes were lifted to unprecedented highs during the last presidential campaign as Obama spoke of being a furious advocate for Gay Rights and of course everyone cheered when he mentioned the GLBT community in his inaugural address.  So here we are about 10 months into his Presidency and how do things stand?

This Wednesday Obama will sign the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Hate Crimes Prevention Act.  This is a good thing although Obama didn’t have anything to do with getting it passed.  It had enough support to pass in past legislatures, but Bush swore to veto it and there wasn’t enough support to overturn a veto.

There has been no other progress on the Federal level of GLBTQ rights.  At the state level next week we’ll see if Maine voters allow the Gay Marriage law go into effect there.  Washington D.C. is likely to pass some sort of Gay Marriage law in near future.  Washington state will also be voting on whether to allow an expanded civil unions law go into effect.

Washington state is interesting in that the opposition has so far managed to keep the names of people and companies who signed the petition to overturn the expanded civil unions law that would have allowed everything but marriage for domestic partnerships (gay or straight) secret.  After the backlash against supporters of Prop 8 in California they claimed that publishing the names would expose them to a similar backlash.  No doubt it would and should.  If I was a gay in Washington state I would like to know what businesses supported Referendum 71 and be able to take my money to a business that was at least neutral if not actively supportive of my rights.  A friend of mine’s company that does web development etc for businesses in Europe and Asia has been working on a service called ‘Pink Pound’ that when it goes online would provide a forum for the GLBTQ community in England to find businesses that are gay friendly.  He offered to let me have the source if I wanted to change it to create a similar service called ‘Pink Dollar’ for here in the USA.  Unfortunately I can’t afford to run that sort of a website free of charge, but I would love to see something like that happen.

I read a lot of gay news sites and blogs and I have noticed a growing anger and in some cases outright hostility toward Obama and the Legislature.  It’s easy to see why.  Politicians flip-flop and spin saying there isn’t support back home for repealing DOMA or DADT.  The time isn’t right and to be patient, maybe during Obama’s second term.  I think 2010 is going to be an interesting election year.  A lot of Independents who are vocally supportive of GLBTQ rights may find themselves with donations and volunteers that the Democrats would have normally expected to come to them.  And unless something changes in 2012 when Obama is up for re-election support from the GLBTQ community is going to be lukewarm at best.

This is going to be my last four day weekend for awhile.  Starting Nov 1st I’ll be back on full-time at work.  Maybe the recession really is starting to pass.  It has been nice though having long weekends all summer.  Fortunately the house and car are paid off so only working half-time since April has been an inconvenience financially rather than a disaster.  It’s going to be an adjustment going back to working 8 hours a day 5 days a week though.  Fortunately I like where I work and the projects are interesting which is a lot more than most people can say.

Anyway a lot to get done this weekend.  Need new front tires on the car, oil change etc.  Lots of housework to do too.  I want to empty out a closet for Jeffrey so he’ll have someplace to hang his clothes when he gets here.  Plus I need to swap out summer clothes for my winter clothes.  There isn’t much to do outside with all the rain we’ve been getting.  Probably a good thing I don’t have many books screaming at me to read them though.  I just finished ‘Turnskin’ and ‘The Last Herald-Mage” both of which were good.

Well Monday night was my last ‘Beginning Fiction’ class.  I think it accomplished what I wanted, which was to give me a jump start writing again.  The last time I seriously tried writing was back in early 80′s and I honestly don’t know how anyone could write something longer than a few pages using pen and paper or a typewriter.  When I write something I just type away getting as much down as I can and then go back, rewrite it and then go back and edit it some more.  Computers and software like Word make that so much easier.  It’s no wonder there is an explosion of writers out there.  Pity hardly anyone reads anymore.  Anyway I’m trying to set some time aside each day and write.  I have no illusions about ever becoming a full-time author hopefully though someday I’d like to win a Spectrum award for something I write.   In the meantime I might sign up for another class in January.

Barnes & Noble announced their eBook hardware recently, the Nook.  They are hoping it will be what everyone will want rather than a Kindle from Amazon.  I’m still not sold on the idea of eBooks.  Not because I’m particularly in love with holding a paper book, which I do enjoy, but rather it’s more a matter of the loss of control of the book.  When it’s in digital form, Amazon or B&N can decide to take the book back by remotely deleting it from the device.  Also the way I sometimes read a book doesn’t always follow from beginning to end.  For example I’ve read stories where the author jumps from one set of characters to another alternating between chapters and everyone gets together toward the climax.  Tolkien’s ‘Return of the King’ was like that, alternating between Frodo, Sam and Gollem getting to Mount Doom and the war going on in Middle Earth.  So I’ll find myself reading every other chapter to follow the thread I’m interested in.  Something else I’ll do that will probably set a lot of people’s teeth on edge is read the first few chapters of a book and if I really really like what I’m reading, I’ll jump ahead and read the last two or three chapters, then go back and read the middle.  I also do that if a book isn’t grabbing my interest, except usually I don’t bother going back to read the middle.  That’s what happened with the Twilight series.  Jeffrey bought me the first three books because everyone was raving about them and he knew I like vampire stories.  Unfortunately they were written for a pretty specific audience and I’m not in it.

FYI, when I review a book here I probably bought the book myself.  Rarely does anyone try giving me books as gifts anymore since I have so many I probably already have it.

A must read book.  The story is set in a world that has an Victorian feel with gas street lamps, horse drawn carriages and flush toilets are new.  It’s the story of two men, William Harker an Inquisitor for the Church and Belimai Sykes a Prodigal a descendant of demons who somehow were freed from hell and absolved.  There are two stories in the book, the first told by Belimai who is hired by Harker to help find his abducted sister while in the background Jack the Ripper style murders of Prodigals are going on.  The second is told by Harker and picks up after solving the mystery of his sister’s abduction and the murders.  While the main characters are gay and the story deals with the developing relationship between them, Ginn doesn’t have the characters wallowing in sex.  In fact the characters are so beaten up by their adventures they don’t have the time or stamina for much sex, they are just trying to survive.

This I believe is Ginn Hale’s first novel and it won the 2008 Spectrum Award and definitely deserves it.  My main complaint is that it is to short.  I can easily see it setting the foundation for future books either set in that world or revisiting the main characters in past or future adventures.  I can also see Ginn Hale achieving mainstream popularity someday.  Since the book is published by a small press you’re probably not going to see it in the local bookstore, however it is available online either from Amazon or the publisher Blind Eye Books.

Sigh, just wrote the check for the second half of my 2009 property taxes.  Over $950.  The first year’s property taxes in 2000 were a bit over $600 for whole year and nine years later just a bit under $2000 for the year.  Thank you Governor Tim Pawlenty for mucking up the state budget so badly in your terms as governor and you are seriously thinking about running for President?  No wonder people on fixed incomes have to give up their homes.

Today was last day of the Gaylaxicon 2009.  First panel I listened to was ‘Progress of GLBT Inclusion in SF’.  SF being Speculative Fiction.  Eleanor Arnason and Carl Cipra were the panelists.  This was a very very interesting discussion and included a lot of audience participation.   Not surprising, the views in the audience were mixed about how much progress has been made.  Definitely there are more stories out with GLBT characters that are more than just minor parts and larger publishers are printing them.  Of course no best-sellers that I’m aware of, but that is probably as much the stories a problem of the stories as the characters.   Speculative fiction seldom makes the best seller lists anyway.

Second panel discussion I went to was speculation about what would happen if a ‘Straight Pill’ was developed.  This was also interesting and was inspired by the controversy of cochlear implant for the deaf community.   Something that also came up here were inter-sex births, where they can’t tell whether the baby is male or female and how they surgically make a decision so the kid can grow up normally.  Unfortunately quite often the kid’s gender identity ends up at odds with what was chosen for them.  I heard a piece on NPR a few weeks ago about inter-sex births and how surprised everyone was by how often they occur.

The third panel discussion I went to was ‘Religious Themes in SF’.  Also interesting, but if I ever do actually write a book I personally will probably avoid religious themes.  One of the panelist offered the advice to budding authors that if we wrote a story with a religion vs religion theme to remember that every religion is made of good and bad people and making one all good and the other all evil doesn’t work.  I would probably tend to make all the religions evil so I’ll make them background bit players in any stories I write.

Also this weekend was there was a National Equality March in Washington D.C. which sounds like it went fairly smoothly.  Nice to see a couple hundred thousand people get together and have a peaceful march.  Not that I believe the politicians will do anything about equality for gays until it is politically expedient, which translates to ‘Never’.  As long they think they are more likely to be re-elected by denying gay rights, that is what they will continue to do.

Today, October 11th is also National Coming Out Day.  So for readers who didn’t notice, I am gay.

Woo! Woo!  Gaylaxicon 2009 is being held in Mpls, MN this year.  Actually this is the first time I’ve ever heard about it, many thanks to my partner Jeffrey for telling me about it and encouraging me to go, even though he is still stuck out in LA.

Day One:  Went in and helped set up displays for the Art Show.  Then listened to discussion panel about Single Sex Worlds, which had Lois McMaster Bujold on the panel a four time Hugo Award winner.  After that panel listened to another panel discussing Science Fiction vs Fantasy, is one better than the other and how they blend.

Day Two:  Sat in on discussion panel about Gay Geeks – Tech and Social Networking.  The panel and most of the attendees were younger, 20′s to early 30′s though a few of us older guys.  It was an interesting discussion blogging, podcasting and how they use social networking to spread the word about their blogs and podcasts.  Then went to a panel on Minnesota SF Writers which had eight authors on the panel.  Seven women and one man (more about that in a bit).  They talked about writing, networking and advantages of being writers living in Minnesota.

Finally went to the Spectrum Awards.  From their website so I don’t botch it:

“The Gaylactic Spectrum Awards were created in 1998 by the Gaylactic Network to honor works in science fiction, fantasy and horror which include positive explorations of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered characters, themes, or issues.”

Yay!  Suddenly I have even more books to find to read, since their website lists all the nominations, short lists and winners.  Personally I don’t necessarily need books with a GLBT theme to read, but I do need good books to read.

Tomorrow is last day and there are more panel discussions I’m interested in hearing.  I am glad I went since I’ve found out a lot of stuff about the science fiction and fantasy scene here in the Twin Cities.  There is a book club that meets 2nd Tuesday of the month just down the block from where Jeffrey and I will hopefully be taking Kendo lessons when he moves out.  My circle of friends is pretty small and I know Jeffrey has an army of friends out in LA.  I know he’s going to want to expand my social circle so I think we’ll try attending a couple meeting of this book club.

Almost forgot to talk about the seven women vs one man on the panel.  A topic that came up several times during the panels, was whether more women than men write stories that contain a GLBT element.  Apparently, if a man writes a GLBT story he is typically labeled as a GLBT author and it can be harder to find publishers for his stories.  However a woman who writes a similar story will probably not automatically be labeled a GLBT author.

Looking forward to Sunday and some more panel discussions.